Have an Anxiety Free Holiday this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and delicious food—but for many, it’s also a time of heightened anxiety. Whether you’re worried about spending the day with dysfunctional family members, preparing a picture-perfect meal, or navigating your first holiday after a significant loss or life change, the pressure can feel overwhelming.

Before we continue, please note that while we may long for an “anxiety-free” holiday, the true goal is not to eliminate anxiety entirely (after all, it's not our enemy) but to manage it more than it manages you.

The following tips are designed for those experiencing general, chronic holiday anxiety and may not apply to those processing trauma.

1. Notice Your Support

One of the simplest ways (and my personal favorite) to stay grounded is to focus on your physical connection to the present moment. If you’re standing, notice the points where your feet connect to the floor—are they evenly planted? How does the pressure shift when you move? If you’re sitting, pay attention to how your seat supports you, from the backs of your legs to your spine.

This practice is grounding because it brings your attention out of the anxious swirl of thoughts and back into your body. By anchoring yourself to something solid and unchanging—like the floor or a chair—you remind your mind that you are safe and supported right now.

2. Breathe

When anxiety strikes, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid, feeding the cycle of panic. Square breathing, a simple technique, can help regulate your nervous system.

Here’s how it works:

Inhale deeply for 3–5 seconds, filling your abdomen first, then your chest, then your shoulders.
Hold your breath for the same count.
Exhale slowly for the same count.
Hold again for the same count.

This deliberate rhythm soothes your body’s stress response by slowing your heart rate and giving your brain a clear message to relax. The focus required also pulls your attention away from anxious thoughts and back into the present.

3. Be Curious

Toward Others:

If the dinner table conversation turns tense—perhaps due to politics, religion, or differing family values—try responding with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Instead of bracing for conflict, ask thoughtful questions: “Why do you feel that way?” or “What led you to that perspective?”

Curiosity doesn’t mean you agree with someone, but it creates a space for empathy and understanding. You might discover shared values beneath surface disagreements, and the disarming power of curiosity often prevents conversations from escalating.

Toward Yourself:

If your anxiety stems from the pressure to perform—getting the food just right, keeping the house spotless, or managing difficult dynamics—pause and reflect. Ask yourself why these things feel so critical. Is there a kinder way to approach them?

For example, if a dish doesn’t turn out perfectly, remind yourself that Thanksgiving isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. If you’re nervous about interacting with a challenging family member, consider what steps you can take to stay calm and aware in their presence.

Self-curiosity encourages gentleness and self-awareness, helping you navigate stress with more patience and compassion.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s Thanksgiving! So why not lean into the holiday’s central theme? Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice—it’s a powerful tool for combating anxiety. Neuroscience shows that focusing on what you’re thankful for can shift your brain’s focus from stress to positivity.

When you practice gratitude, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the “feel-good” chemicals that enhance your mood. Gratitude also reduces the stress hormone cortisol, helping to lower anxiety. Taking a moment to reflect on even the smallest things—like a warm meal, the presence of a supportive friend, or the beauty of a fall day—can have a calming effect on your nervous system.

By anchoring yourself in thankfulness, you invite a sense of calm and contentment that can help you navigate the holiday with greater ease.

Manage Anxiety Before It Manages You

The holidays don’t have to be anxiety’s playground. By focusing on grounding techniques, mindful breathing, and a curious mindset, you can approach them with more calmness and control. Remember, the goal isn’t perfection—it’s presence.

Whether your day is spent with loved ones, by yourself, or somewhere in between, managing your anxiety allows you to embrace the small moments of joy and gratitude that make the season meaningful.

You are worthy of peace, no matter what challenges the holidays may bring.

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Disclaimer:

These thoughts are presented with curiosity, wonder, and a sense of discovery.

There is so much scholarly material around religion, history, sociology, and psychology (realms I spend much of my time in). While that is immensely valuable and should be consulted when lives are at stake, I'd never produce anything if I required myself to scour these depths before voicing my thoughts which I believe to contain value and worth.

As such, it would not surprise me if my conclusions change in the future. And I hope it doesn't surprise you. That change of mind could come tomorrow, or it could come years from now. Curiosity isn't concrete. Trying to make it so robs it of its strength and beauty. As you read, I hope you will remember this - on my behalf and on yours.

Additionally, this post is not a substitute for psychotherapy or professional advice. If you are experiencing emotional distress or seeking personalized guidance, please consult a licensed mental health professional or other qualified expert.